It's Just Like Christmas

Yes, girls, today is that special holiday that comes only once a year - the annual gyno exam. I just love the paper gown and the crampiness that follows. Perhaps I will pen some appropriate carols to celebrate this holiday later.

I shall be removing all doors and light switches from my home. Little Diva is driving me BAT-SHIT CRAZY with them. It goes like this: open/close, open/close, "please don't do that," open/close, open/close, "do you need a time out to calm down," open/close (with a guilty glance), TIME OUT. On/off, on/off, "I asked you before not to do that," on/off (mischievous grin), "please stop or you'll be in time out," on/off, "that's enough, go to your room." AHHHHHHHHHHH. Repeat pattern hundreds of times throughout the day until mom is ready to pack her bags and get out of town on the next thing smoking. While I admit that light at literally the flip of a switch is quite a cool phenomenon, this is fucking insane. I would change all electrical appliances to The Clapper to avoid switches, but I think we know what THAT would do to me. Moving on...

Yesterday I had the pleasure of having lunch with SY at Noodles and Company. YAY! It was good to be outside and get some "big-people" conversation time. However, the unexpected occurred as Little Diva demonstrated for SY exactly why alcoholism is so prevalent among stay-at-home moms. By the way, I did have a drink at 3 PM (but I swear it was just one, and we were out of Coke anyway).

For all of you lit enthusiasts, I've posted a partial journal entry at http://www.literalchaos.blogspot.com/ which may or may not become a creative non-fiction piece. Feel free to stop by and comment if you'd like.

Anyway, gotta hop in the shower and get ready for THE HOLIDAY. Later, taters...