This evening's drama is brought to you by vodka, antidepressants, and morphine. Oh, and the guys who make ear plugs, too.
It's such a shame, dear friends, that you couldn't enjoy the symphony of wailing that occurred this evening in my home. I believe that my daughter has discovered a previously unknown octave judging from the ear-splitting scale amplified through the Graco monitor. In between the instrumental sections, my daughter bellowed a chorus of "I no wanda goduh bed, pleeeease" interlaced with a lovely "I need more appoe juice." It was quite the performance. I honored it seven times with a standing ovation and a swift escorting of my operatic diva straight back up the stairs to her room. Heaven help me. I NEED A DRINK!
It is now 11:00 PM and I hear snoring coming from little diva's bedroom. I hoped that our sleep worries were over this time last year. But I know all too well that nothing is ever that clear-cut with kids. Mother Nature always finds a way to kick you square in the ass when things have gotten a little too comfy. So, new parents, listen up: never think you've got it all figured out. That is the sole reason that us slightly seasoned parents make fun of you (well, ok, it makes us feel better about ourselves, too).
To see more ways Mother Nature kicks you square in the ass, please stay tuned for our coming ramblings. Better go buy some ass pads, kids!!!
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1 comment:
It's just plain fun to say "ass pads."
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