Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Coffee Cup Quandary

This message is brought to you by arm restraints and coffee creamers.

I'm a little OCD about some things. Weird things. Things that would make you think I'm a madwoman (or an asshead, your choice). Like coffee cup lids. But only coffee cup lids that do not come on the stout and sturdy go-cups from true coffee establishments like Starbucks and Wired Coffee.

My paranoia is related to, in particular, those flimsy-ass convenience store/gas station coffee cup lids. I have this recurring daymare (like a nightmare, but during my conscious waking hours, oh my god I'm so crazy I'm making up words). In said scenario, I go to take a sip of my judiciously mixed coffee beverage only to have the lid leak/crack, or in the really terrifying dreams, completely blow off leaving me in a boiling hot waterfall of my perfect coffee.

[Note: A special shout out to the lame ass who sued McDonald's many years ago over the coffee spillage burn issue. Thanks to this genius, every coffee cup now has the WARNING: HOT bullshit branded right into the cup. This only adds to the hypersensitivity I have surrounding this issue. There's nothing like seeing those last words as I raise the superheated beverage to my lips, wondering if my daymare will come true.]

SO, if you see someone in the convenience store checking the lid on her damn coffee like 80 times AND pushing down on it hard enough to crumple the whole stupid cup before leaving the scene, it's probably me. Unless that person is muttering things under her breath. Oh, wait. That probably IS me...

3 comments:

Tessie said...

This is funny. You may have to start transferring to YOUR OWN cup.

bananafana said...

i'll be the one standing next to you staring at all the lids for 20 minutes trying to make sure I grab the right sized one. If you grab the wrong one what do you do? You can't put it back, throwing away is wasteful oh holy shit the dilemna!!!!

mom of the year said...

Tessie: That would be the SMART thing today on the surface. But, alas, to feed the paranoia, I've have incidents there as well. DAMN THE MAN!

Fana: Five second rule? Does that apply in 7-11???