Am I the only person in the world who gets nervous going to the eye doctor? Perhaps some of you can identify with my nervous tummy if I lay out my visit for you today:
Exhibit A: The air puff test thing. Yeah, you know the drill. They shoot air into your eye to check the pressure. Totally sucks and I flinch every time, meaning it takes like 10 tries to get it right.
Exhibit B: The stupid eye charts. Damn. I feel like I'm being given a pop quiz or something. What letter is that? G, or maybe a C? Wait. Is that a O or a D? And just for shits and giggles to scare the hell out of you, there are numbers now on that thing, too.
Exhibit C: The corrective lenses eye test. Which is clearer, this or this? OK. Is this better or worse? Fuzzy or clearer? 1 or 2? OK. 3 or 4? OK 5 or 6? What the hell number are we on?! No dammit, I don't know which is better! Which is the right answer????????? Stop the insanity!
Exhibit D: Field vision screening. Every time the doc sees that my mom has developing glaucoma, I am automatically subjected to the stupid test where you click a button every time you see a line disturbance in a vision field. And I'm all, GOD, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Did I just see one there? Or there? Or was that just an artifact from the last one? Someone tell me the answer!
Yeah, so that was my day. I'm going for coffee and a Prozac, perhaps...