The Eternal 29th Birthday Convention Part I

How was my weekend in San Diego, you ask? Well, MAMA'S STILL GOT IT, BITCHES! Oh how I love to be a wing woman! The Eternal 29th Birthday Celebration (aka the meeting of The Dirty Thirties) began with a few pitchers of Sangria, which is a pretty good indicator of the modus operandi for the entire weekend.

Exhibit A: friend Kiwi kicking it off in Irvine.

Exhibit B: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner DAY ONE in Lake Forest.

Exhibit C: Lunch DAY TWO at The Spot in La Jolla.


Exhibit D: Dinner DAY TWO. Are you seeing a pattern???
Exhibit E: Uh, yeah. DON'T WE ALL????????


Exhibit F: Yours truly having polished off the first of, well, just a few, car bombs. YUMMY! Please note the unruly hair and crazed eyes. I guess I won't be using this shot in the old blogger profile!!!

For all you animal lovers, we took a break from the bacchanalia and saw some seals and shit, too.

I'll have some killer thoughts on the weekend with more pix later. Just couldn't wait to put something up here and say HI!!!

Eye Doctor IQ

Am I the only person in the world who gets nervous going to the eye doctor? Perhaps some of you can identify with my nervous tummy if I lay out my visit for you today:

Exhibit A: The air puff test thing. Yeah, you know the drill. They shoot air into your eye to check the pressure. Totally sucks and I flinch every time, meaning it takes like 10 tries to get it right.

Exhibit B: The stupid eye charts. Damn. I feel like I'm being given a pop quiz or something. What letter is that? G, or maybe a C? Wait. Is that a O or a D? And just for shits and giggles to scare the hell out of you, there are numbers now on that thing, too.

Exhibit C: The corrective lenses eye test. Which is clearer, this or this? OK. Is this better or worse? Fuzzy or clearer? 1 or 2? OK. 3 or 4? OK 5 or 6? What the hell number are we on?! No dammit, I don't know which is better! Which is the right answer????????? Stop the insanity!

Exhibit D: Field vision screening. Every time the doc sees that my mom has developing glaucoma, I am automatically subjected to the stupid test where you click a button every time you see a line disturbance in a vision field. And I'm all, GOD, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Did I just see one there? Or there? Or was that just an artifact from the last one? Someone tell me the answer!

Yeah, so that was my day. I'm going for coffee and a Prozac, perhaps...

My Hometown Goes Dirty

For Tessie (who HEARTS Mike Rowe) and Erica (who HEARTS St. Louis): Tonight's episdoe of Dirty Jobs was made in The Lou. Apparently Mike Rowe was in town learning how to put barges in the scrap heap. I'm not sure how much of The Lou you'll get to see, but hey, Mike Rowe is enough, right?

Peace. I'm out!!!

From the Highlight Reel

Happy Monday to all! It is Monday, right? I can't keep it all straight with hubs STILL OFF WORK SINCE CHRISTMAS! Yes, that's right - a month's worth of down time for him. I'm going batty! Love him, but shit. This is insane. Usually he gets two weeks off, but this year we were given an EXTRA two, no doubt for good behavior with all of the insanity of the market right now. Well, at least, that's what I tell myself so I don't freak out.

ANYWAY - the highlight reel. So, even after the madness of the holidays, being sick for two weeks, and a weather system so crazy it's a wonder no one has said the world is ending, I have managed not to gain back any weight and reclaimed the minute on my running intervals that I had previously lost. I'm down a total of 24 pounds. WOO HOO! And remember - my only philosophy on this whole this is to do what feels good and not a speck more, which has translated so nicely to weightloss for me. What's on the highlight reel? Two cool things:

1) From under the net - My postal woman cheers me on every day, but hadn't seen me because I was sick for a couple of weeks. I saw her on Friday, and she said had to do a double-take because she said she didn't recognize me.

2) And from the three-point line, a married father-of-two neighbor of mine that I usually see while out running actually came to my house, rang my damn doorbell, and asked if I was okay since he hadn't seen me in a while. Then, as he was leaving, he turned around, gave me the twice over with THE EYE, and said, "Damn. You're looking good, mama."

What the hell? It was so weird, and yet, somehow awesome.

Anyway, I'm powering writing the book this week since on Friday I will be flying to Southern California for the Eternal 29th Birthday Convention (AKA the gathering of The Dirty Thirties) - a trip that I'm sure, as you would guess, will no doubt involve much dancing, drinking, and male-bashing. YAY!

I'll have more for you later...

Literary Slut Version 2.0

Well, it's been a while, has it not, my lovlies? Sorry I've been MIA, but I'm undertaking a project which has me doing all sorts of crazy things like staying up all night researching things online, performing spontaneous dance parties in my home office, and generally being wicked cool. What is it, you ask?

I'm writing that fucking book. Finally.

So ANYWAY... what have you all been up to? I've actually been checking up on you guys a lot; I just haven't been posting and such. But now that a good deal of my research is done for this motherfucker, let's get this party started AGAIN!

My hats off to everyone who survived the holidays complete with car trips, multiple familial homes to visit, and cranky babies. We have three days of Christmas, of which Christmas Day is actually spent sitting on our asses, opening presents at home, and ordering Chinese take-out for dinner. Bonus - all of our family lives within 20 minutes of us. So, even if I had any holiday complaints, I would feel like a complete asshat for airing them here as I saw so many of you rolled down the open road with screaming kiddos.

My love and middle finger to all my bitches. Literary Slut is back.