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Yes, I am old and apparently trying to remain hip. I actually said "harshin' on my coffee buzz" at Starbucks today. Dear God, when did I become Californian?

Is it just me or is everyone going through a BLAH thing this week? Usually I have some quirky thing to put down here, but I'm kind of at a loss. Unless we talk about SLEEP...

Which has not been too great here. Right now (praise GOD), Little Diva is taking a snooze. Since she recovered from the fever, we've had major post-traumatic sleep issues. Coupled with the fact that the days are getting much shorter here (it's completely dark by 7-ish), I'd say unless tonight goes fantastically, I'm headed towards the fashionable white coat with extra long sleeves!

My mom used to say "I'm at the end of my rope with you," and I'd always kind of wondered what that meant. Now I know because I was there Monday night. You know how in the movies when someone is clinging to life at the end of of rapidly fraying rope? When they get down to the very last thread? Yeah, that's where I was on Monday night post-bedtime. I was ready to free fall into the canyon at any moment when my hero, the sleep angel, finally appeared! Thank God for small miracles...

Anyway, everything else here has been BORING. I'm bored to tears. Literally. Not that I can't mop the kitchen floor, clean my dressing room, steam the carpets, etc. It just doesn't sound like anything that might improve the action around here.

On the upswing, I am considering downloading some old tunes to my new MP3 player (don't get all horny and jealous - it's a cheap one). I've already got plenty of gangsta rap on there, so I need something light. Any suggestions? Perhaps some Marky Mark? Bon Jovi? Something from the late eighties/early nineties. Tell me your faves...

On the gangsta rap front, I find it quite fun to be driving around in my over-driven prior-yuppie mobile with the car seat in full effect while Jay-Z belts out of the speakers. I spent an hour one night creating a CD of nothing but explicit rap to move my booty in the car when Little Diva is not in tow. Wonder what the other playschool moms would say. Are they haters? Are you??? There's just something extra-gratifying about figuratively giving the finger to the suburban mommy stereotype. Can I get a HELL YEAH from you muthas??? And yet, whenever I turn into a parking lot or down a residential street, I turn the volume down to "barely audible." I'm a wuss...

One down, two to go...

GM is back at work! So, we're not sure if Chrysler or Ford will be next at negotiating (they may even go at the same time). So we'll just wait and see. Thanks so much to all of you for being a little pep squad for me. We're not out of the dark yet, but we can see the light. I really do appreciate you all just taking an interest. It's been really nice.

I need to go do some stuff for a bit, but I'll be back later to GET MY SNARK ON!

To strike or not to strike? That is the question...

Well, friends, GM has hit the picket lines. Apparently, American car companies don't want to promise that they'll continue to build American cars in, uh, America. Hmmm. If we're going to be politically correct, they want you to drive Mexican-American or Chinese-American cars (some of them already are, thank you horseshit that is NAFTA). I'll keep my trap shut about how much that sucks because I think most of you would see where I'm going with it. But, if I may say so, for a country that wants to be so ingenious and independent, we really don't do anything ourselves anymore. Isn't it ironic (don'tcha think)? Now we just get to wait it out and see what comes down the poop chute to Chrysler. Grilled cheese anyone? But just half; we're rationing. HA HA HA!

Anyway, Little Diva has been going through this fever mess that's being passed around. Yuck! I HATE HATE HATE high fevers, especially at night because I'm the only one home. High fever for Little Diva = night watch duty for mom. So Saturday night I didn't sleep because hubby was at work, but he did grant me some blissful hours on Sunday morning. She was acting fine and going about her crazy toddlerness all day yesterday, but the fever reared up again at bedtime. Another agonizing night of being uncomfortable. I felt really bad for her because I know how much I hate being sick that way. I'm hoping that all is well tonight; she's been fever-free so far today.

The most important things is fever today = no playschool tomorrow. And we all know what THAT will do to mommy dearest. Oh the humanity!

Well, hausfrau has been haus-slacker today, so I must go run a paper towel over the counter so I can feel productive.

Snarkiness Aside

Girls, my husband rules today! I got to sleep in. And I mean SLEEP IN! Hubby woke up with Little Diva, took her to the park, went to the bank, and brought home lunch. The icing on the cake was that he left out a card for me telling me how awesome of a mom I am and how much I mean to him. I was actually bawling! It was so nice. I feel like a totally different person today. Of course, something tells me that this is to iron out any yuckiness because he will be playing in one golf tournament this weekend and one next weekend. So I think this may be part damage control, but I'LL TAKE IT!

For those of you wondering why hubby is home right now, he works second shift, which absolutely sucks. Right now, he goes in at 4 in the afternoon and gets home after 3 in the morning. It just makes time for us (and us alone) and time for me (and me alone) rather difficult. But the shift differential in pay is what makes it possible for me to stay home, so we'll work with it. And it is kind of nice to have him around during the day to play and stuff. But. oh, what I would have given during 2 years of nursing to have him home at night.

Anyway, I'll be snarky later...

The Labor of Home Improvement

Alright, it must be almost time for my next home improvement project. Home improvement is kind of like a birth experience for me. I get some labor pains off and on in the beginning. Then they become much closer together and more painful each time. Finally, I've had enough and find myself swinging a sledge hammer at something (well, that's not with babies, just my house).

Last time, I had enough of staring at this crumbling walkway we had leading away from the back patio. I'd been staring at it for years wondering what the hell I would do with it. I got tired of looking at it one day, got out the sledge hammer, and starting swinging. Enter my husband, halfway through the demo, with that all too familiar "oh-my-hell-what's-this-gonna-cost" look (which often resembles the "oh-shit-what'd-I-do-this-time" look). Two months later, in the ruins of the walkway, we had a 9X12 ground level cedar deck. What I thought might become a $50 zen rock garden exploded into $600 worth of wood and galvanized deck supports. Damn, I did a great job, though (props to dad for his help).

Prior to the deck, I'd gotten sick of the atrocity that was our front hedge. I called my father-in-law to bring the chainsaw. He cut the labrynth of intertwined shrubbery down to the ground, and voila, we had a brick paver area with landscaping and a park bench 3 days later. The list goes on and on. My modus operandi seems to be that I have no idea what the end result will be until after I demolish that which I hate. And I end up doing it mostly myself because my husband HATES home improvement (I probably would, too, if manual labor was my day job). But for him, basically, our home is improved by some little lumber sprite or drill fairy.

I'm not quite sure which piece of crap in my house is next to go, but I've been eyeballing my tub and shower. Here's the real deal: our house is 40 years old and the grout and tile suck. It's been my biggest pet peeve about this place. The soapdish keeps coming ungrouted from the wall because my husband refuses to believe that grout and caulk need at least 24 hours to completely set. I'm tired of watching him in there with the bullshit-grout (in the aerosol can) every two months making a bigger mess every time.

I'm a little intimidated to start this one in case I rip it wide open and find out our plumbing sucks. We don't have the cash laying around to fix that shit. And of course, being the only shower in our house, this will set us out to bathe elsewhere for at least a week. I hate bathing at other people's houses. It just kind of grosses me out.

So, maybe I will have to settle for painting or reorganizing stuff. Oh! Here's one I need an opinion on...

We have three bedrooms (a master and two smaller). The larger of the non-masters is currently the nursery. We still have the crib up and also a twin bed where Little Diva sleeps now. The other smaller room (office) is home to my PC, books, and a daybed that will be leaving the premises ASAP. So, whattaya think: clear out toys from the overcrowded living room into the office and have a playroom/office (ploffice), or make the office into Little Diva's room? The PC would have to go into the basement, which unfortunately has no windows (boo). There. That feels good.

Anyway, I think I hear a soapdish falling into the tub. Dammit...

Hausfrau in das haus?

Yes, I am back to make you smile/squirm. I hope everyone's day is going well. A special shout out to those of you having mediocre days, as I had one yesterday (well, afternoon anyway).

God I love Wednesday mornings! Little Diva and I began attending story time at the local Barnes & Noble a few months ago. We had the good fortune to meet up a fantastic mom/daughter pair whom has multiplied our midweek joy. For those newer moms out there looking for a great way to meet other moms without joining the dreaded playgroup (yech), I highly recommend story times, either at Borders or Barnes & Noble (you can find the times on the web). I really look forward to seeing S and E every week! I'm not a playgroup type and I'm not high maintenance enough to gel with the playground mommas at the park. "Literary slut" is more my style, so the bookstore gig has been great. And, hey - bookstores have cafes. And cafes mean tea and coffee. Coffee, books, and a cool mom friend does a great Wednesday morning make. Love and kisses to S and E from my virtual home here.

Yesterday afternoon was not quite so wonderful. Have you had one of those days where there is so much in your head and so little focus outside of it that you want to call the mental hospital? Yeah, that was my Wednesday afternoon. Moving on...

Today hubby decided that Little Diva should be allowed to ride her tricycle inside the house. Uh, what the hell? What happened to "that's an outside toy?" It may not have been so bad IF:
1) I had not previously said NO;
2) we had more than 600 square feet of living space on the first floor; and
3) she didn't keep riding into the pathway of the oven door whilst I was making lunch.
So that was fun.

I keep getting hit with sudden bursts of thought about things I should get done around the house today. The problem is my alter ego keeps making an appearance and telling the energy to "calm the hell down." Consequently, the shower curtain with a mildewy hem has not made it to the washer yet and the kitchen counter looks like Office Depot threw up on it. Oh, and there's an abstract painting on my kitchen floor done entirely in juice droplets and some stray dog hairs (my daughter is EXCELLENT with mixed media expression).

So, the hausfrau has now been to Starbucks and is ready to corral some dust bunnies (more on midwestern dust later). This post is mega boring so I need to go "work" to come up with more material for later. Until then, HANG IN THERE!