Blogger Constipation

In response to some e-mails and comments, I am hanging out here to explain myself (or lack thereof). Paraphrasing from Seinfeld, Kristen, "I will not submit to forcible [posting]!" And yet, here I am. Because some of you actually seem to get all horny for the blog. Geez, it's nice to be missed. But I'm posting for me, not you. GOT IT?! Umm , that's sarcasm. If you're not used to that, you must have ended up here in error. But keep reading because I've been told I say some pretty funny shit from time to time...

For those of you who know me, you are aware that sometimes I drop off the face of the earth for a few days. Then I suddenly appear in all my sahm glory with all too much to say. Therein lies my current dilemma. I am not suffering from a lack of topics upon which to bore you with my ramblings, but rather I have a plethora from which I cannot choose.

I am enduring a MAJOR case of blogger constipation and as soon as you all can help me out, I'm sure posting diarrhea will soon follow. If I don't get some assistance here soon, I'm afraid my creative system will be impacted. And that would completely suck. It's gross, but it's a great analogy. It's like I'm sitting here with a magazine and my drawers around my ankles thinking, "Will you just come out already?!" So discuss in the comments, if you will, the topics you would most like to see shortly:

My wedding story (I'm light years behind you more industrious bloggers on this)
Little Diva's birth story (see parenthesis above)
Salvation Army stress disorder
The coffee cup quandary
Little Diva learns the art of "working a room"
HDTV and its effects on people I envy
Top 10 things that annoy the shit out of me
SAHMBO (stay-at-home-mom burn out)
The strip tease class
ENFP - Yeah, I'm an idealist
Stuff I need to finish before I die
Annoying tidbits about Hubs

That's just a start. Pick some and help me out, dammit!

MUST. GET. SLEEP. NOW.

OH MY GAWD! I am so exhausted. I damn near fell asleep at the lunch table with my fam today. I think all the craziness of this past weekend is catching up with me.


That, AND I've been up late writing for a couple of submission deadlines, which has been fun but is killing my nighttime rest. I've always been a bit of a procrastinator, but it tends to work better for my writing. I've never been one of those people that could do that multi-step writing shit they teach you in school. I'm too ADHD for that bullshit. Get it all out at once, I say! Passion, stress, anxiety - these are the elixir for good writing!!!


The stupid part is that I didn't run Monday (heavy rain), Tuesday I managed to eek out 2 miles, and today, well, I think I just need to go lie down while the wee one gets some much needed shut-eye. She was a major CRAB ASS towards the last part of our weekly visit with S and E at Barnes & Noble this morning, even going so far as to take a swipe at E with one of her paws. We had to come home and have the talk about "you know we use our words and hitting is NOT acceptable." Which was followed by some crocodile tears and a juice request, which somehow makes everything feel better in a toddler world. (I guess I can relate because I know what Grey Goose does for me on a Friday night). I know Little Diva needs a nap or it will be the end of mom of the year as a felony conviction-free citizen by about 4 o'clock today (or as it is known in our house "crappy hour").



Oh. Before I forget, here is my normally sweet baby dressed up for Halloween...

I will say it for you: HOW CUTE! She wanted the pumpkin to become the carriage, but I was simply out of magic dust for that to happen. Alas, we ended up hoofing it to the neighborhood Halloween ball.


OK, I will ponder the run/walk or nap decision for a moment longer. Then I will commit to one or the other and try and come up with something funny to say later...

New Rough Draft Teaser

For your reading pleasure, I've begun a new creative non-fiction piece and have posted a teaser at www.literalchaos.blogspot.com. Please feel free to leave comments, good or not-so-good. I need to hear it all. Also, no, it's not done yet...

Social Event Progression (or Regression???)

Yup. It happened. This weekend hubs and I had our first-ever party including babies, kids, and pictures of everyone's families. It was CRAZY FUN! Up until this point, our parties pre-Little Diva revolved around large quantities of alcohol in many forms and staying up until the wee hours playing drinking games or something else to justify being piss drunk. Post-Little Diva's inmahbellay time and birth, the parties centered around Little Diva (birthdays, baptism, first time on the potty, geez, you know, anything for her). This time our party was one of those rights of passage in family-hood - THE BRING YOUR KIDS PARTY! It was insane, and yet so much fun that I can't wait to have another one after the holidays!

So now, here are some pix:

At our maximum period of fun, we had about 40 people here, about 10 of which were kids. I would venture to say this is probably the most fun I've had in my own home in a while. The beauty of it was that everyone seemed to be relaxed and just having fun being away from their respective homesteads. The newer moms and dads could hang out on the floor with the babies or run up to LD's room for crib/rocking chair use as the need arose or parttake in the many conversations going on all over the place. The toddlers and older kids kept each other entertained and we heard nor saw any whining, crying or bleeding, so all was well! We had all sorts of people here - married with no kids, married with 1 kid, married with several kids, single, single and hot, engaged, married too long to count and so on and so forth. It was great! My only regrets were that it took us over 2 years to have this party and that I wasn't able to spend as much time with everyone as I'd hoped until after dinner. This thing started at 5 and was wrapping for the kid-laden by around 8-ish, which was the plan since we understand that whole bedtime thing. We had several folks who stuck it out with us much later (thanks to post-dinner babysitters for us weary parents).

I totally recommend this type of informal occasion to ANYONE! I hope that all who were here had as much fun as I did. It was so nice to see everyone, and the kids had a great time keeping each other out of our hair, which was also a bonus.

One more web shout-out to Officer N, our friend who recently became a STL City Police Officer. You and your lovely wife have my undying respect and admiration. And, N's a cutie, too, so here's his pic with his shiny new badge:

Mostaccioli Recipe (the short version)

At the request of several readers, here is the quick version of mostaccioli:

CLASSIC BAKED MOSTACCIOLI

1 lb. ground beef
1/2 c. chopped onion
2 1/2 c. meatless spaghetti sauce
1/2 c. water
8 oz. (3 1/3 c.) mostaccioli noodles (or penne, I suppose if your grocery store is LAME)
6 oz. Mozzarella cheese
2 tbsp. Parmesan cheese

In skillet cook meat and onion until meat is browned and onion is tender, stirring to break meat into chunks. Stir in spaghetti sauce and water; simmer 10 minutes. Meanwhile, cook mostaccioli as directed; drain. Mix the sauce with mostaccioli in a 9x13 pan. Sprinkle Parmesan over mixture. Then put Mozzarella cheese on top. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes. Serve with garlic bread.

Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Happiness Quotient: Extremely HIGH

I have been gone for what seems like forever. I know you are sorely disappointed in me, but, alas, I have been corralling all of the craziness here and also taking some time to indulge myself. Here's the breakdown:

Saturday
Spent the afternoon kid-free with SY looking at all things girly and sparkly and yummy. Treated myself on the impending bonus hubby will be receiving soon (the labor contract was nationally accepted). Here is an example of the end result.

You: Excuse me. You smell fantastically sexy. Are you wearing Dolce & Gabbana?
Me: Why, yes. Yes, I am.

I indeed enjoyed my afternoon and came giggling into the house with a bottle of D&G from Macy's (and nothing more). Ah, yes, these are the simple diva pleasures I remember from my former life (i.e. when I was single).

Sunday
Hubby enthusiastically agrees that we need a new TV. Now, you must understand he is the last person to spend money on such things, so this was a total surprise. Also understand that since my 15 year old kick ass (really) TV crapped out one year ago, we've been watching TV on a 19 inch set as old as me that does not have any input jacks for DVD players, VCRs, or anything but coaxial cable. Oh, and the tube is almost out so I had the contrast turned up as high as it could do so we could get a picture. Thus, watching the World Series was more like watching blood droplets ooze around on a green background.

You: How cool is your new TV?
Me: Well, it's pretty cool by our standards. We don't require much in the way of electronic gadgetry. We already had surround sound (a gift from an ex-boyfriend - thanks, JOHN!) and the DVD player, and the TV brings us up to current American normalcy, I suppose. You can see it here.

Monday-Tuesday
We have an upcoming soiree this weekend a la casa de mom of the year. Thus, I have been cleaning up things and got my office all picked up ultra-clean so we can clear some toys out of the living room and SWOOSH them away to the office to accommodate our guests. I used my "mommy time" while LD was at school to get some party supply shopping done (which did include some nice foo-fooey table coverings and acanthus leaf candle holders - YAY). I was in mid party-planning mode and starting to get some things together both days, and collapsed into bed at night while fighting the horrendous cough my daughter had a few weeks ago.

Wednesday
YAY! Today was Barnes & Noble Day, so I got to hang with S and her daughter E. I might add that the toasted marshmallow mocha at B&N was tasty, although I think maybe a bit overrated. I'll stick to my chai next time, I think. I'm in full party-planning mode and am chomping at the bit to get everything white-glove clean and get the food going, but I certainly wanted to be here for a moment, because I've missed my internet GURRRLZ awfully bad. Over the last few days, I'd realize I missed a whole day with you all and I'd actually fucking freak out about it.

I will post some Halloween pix soon so you can see the light of my life dressed as Cinderella in all her finery.

Anyway, there's mostaccioli to make and bathrooms to clean...

Note to other St. Louisans: "mostaccioli" is not in spellchecker. Can you imagine???

German-esque Recipe from Hausfrau

Good morning, ladies! Hope you all are having an excellent Friday. I thought I would stop in and share a recipe that I love to cook up this time of year. Judging from the states that many of you come from, I think it's safe to say that there are quite a few of you who, like me, have some sort of German heritage down the line. You know, those relatives with the last name bearing a consonant to vowel ratio of about 80:1. While I am mainly of Western European descent (see Braveheart for references), that German gene is so damn potent! Here is a recipe that totally rocks and is super easy. Warning: it does contain sauerkraut. However, my sister, who somehow has managed to misplace her German section of genes, HATES sauerkraut in any of its forms, save for this one. It is actually quite good and can get you through any longings you may have for the fare of Strassenfest, Oktoberfest, Wurstfest, or any of the other FESTS solely created by Germans for the purposes of downing beer and raising cholesterol levels. So, here we go:

Sauerkraut and Ribs

1 32 oz bag of Flanagan Krrrrisp Kraut (usually found by refrigerated pickles in meat section)
1 can french onion soup
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 pounds country style pork ribs boned and trimmed (I buy them this way)

Preheat oven to 350. Place ribs on bottom of 9x13 baking dish. Top with the drained sauerkraut. Sprinkle the brown sugar over the sauerkraut. Pour the undiluted soup over the top of all. Cover with aluminum foil and bake 3-4 hours or until tender. Remove foil during last 1/2 hour for browning.

I LOVE THE SMELL OF THIS BAKING!!! Reminds me of my grandma's house...